Selling from the Heart vs. Selling from the Head: The Two-Brain Strategy That Actually Closes Deals

 

You’ve polished your pitch. The ROI calculator is glowing. The PowerPoint animations are smooth and you are ready to close.

And yet… nothing. Just glazed eyes and a polite, “I want to think about it.” 

Have you ever had that?

 I have, more times than I can count, before I realised I was selling the way I sold and not the way they bought.

You don’t bomb the pitch. You pitched to the wrong brain.

“People buy emotionally and justify logically.”

I heard that 20 years ago from Alan Weiss, and it’s still true.

But here’s the kicker—some people need the emotion before they commit, others won’t budge without the numbers (think most accountants, lawyers and architects).

And if you sell the wrong way to the wrong person, you’ll lose faster than a cold caller who forgets the prospect’s name.

Let’s unpack the difference between heart buyers and head buyers, how to spot them, and—more importantly—how to sell to them without sounding like a canned sales script.

The Great Brain Divide

Every buyer has two internal engines running the show: the Head (logic, data, risk management) and the Heart (emotion, story, connection). And here’s the kicker:

Most salespeople pitch as if every prospect is powered entirely by Excel spreadsheets or Hallmark cards—when in reality, they’re some messy, glorious combination of both.

Think about yourself, how do you like to buy, from the head or heart. I am a bit of a combination of both.

The Two Tribes

Head Buyers
They’re spreadsheet samurais. They want case studies, KPIs, due diligence, and disaster plans. You’re not pitching a partnership—you’re submitting a procurement dossier. They want facts and figures and proof.

Logic-driven, fact-finding missiles.

They want spreadsheets, ROI projections, case studies, and the approval of their inner accountant.

They don't “feel” their way into decisions—they calculate, analyze, and dissect.

Think:

• The CFO who wants a 3-year cost-benefit analysis before switching software.
• The investor who needs market performance graphs before touching a property.
• The tech buyer who asks about compatibility, warranties, and uptime percentage.

My success in financial services sales was although I am a heart buyer, most of my sales were to accountants, doctors and dentists who by and large were logical head buyers.

When they said they wanted to think about it, they did.

I always gave them two proposals and used head language like ‘I have analysed the alternatives and want you to go away and study and analyse what would work best for you and when we meet again let me know which is best’

They don’t want to be rushed and normally would study the proposals and tell you what they have decided.

One word of warning, when selling to head buyers, know your product, their company and any pain points, they will have the answers but will still test you.

I remember when I first started selling, I managed to make an appointment with one of the wealthiest entrepreneurs in South Africa.

This was in the 80s and when I walked into his office he told me he had $5 million to invest, what would I suggest (what I heard was ‘go and order your Bentley this afternoon)

He then started asking difficult questions to which I did not have the answers.

After 10 minutes he walked around the desk, shook my hand and said ‘young man, go and learn your business and come back in 5 years’ time when you know what you are talking about’.

I felt sick for a week but then realized the importance of knowledge in selling to head buyers and my sales career took off.

Heart Buyers

These are the gut-feel gladiators. They buy on emotion, trust, culture fit. To them, a deal that "feels right" is often better than one that merely "adds up."

These are your emotional decision-makers. They care about how it feels, not just what it does.

They’re buying the dream, the status, the story, the legacy.

Think:

• The client who buys a beachfront apartment because their dad always dreamed of retiring by the ocean.
• The business owner who signs the deal because “it just feels right.”
• The gym owner who installs £50k of equipment because they want to “change lives,” not because of ROI.

You’ve met both. The CFO who wanted 43 pages of ROI analysis. The founder who bought after a five-minute story about your dog and your startup journey.

Most people lean one way or the other.

Your job? Know which way they’re tilted—and sell accordingly.

Spotting the Buyer in 60 Seconds

You don’t need a neuroscience degree. You just need to ask better questions and listen like your life depended on it.

Spotting a Heart Buyer from a Mile Away

Heart buyers give signals that are easier to spot than a bad poker face:

What They Say:

• "I just have a feeling about this..."
• "My team is going to love this"
• "This feels right for our culture"
• "I trust your judgment"
• "What do you think we should do?"

How They Behave:

• They ask about your experience with similar companies
• They want to know who else you've worked with
• They focus on relationships and partnerships
• They make decisions quickly (sometimes scarily fast)
• They trust recommendations from people they respect

Real Example: Sarah, a marketing director, called me after a 20-minute conversation and said, "I've been burned by marketing speakers before, but you just get our brand. When can we start?"

She didn't ask for case studies, pricing comparisons, or a detailed proposal. She made a gut decision based on connection and trust

Identifying the Head Buyer (AKA the Spreadsheet Warrior)

Head buyers are the ones who make you work for every single data point:

What They Say:

• "What's the ROI on this?"
• "Can you provide benchmarks?"
• "I need to see the numbers"
• "What's your methodology?"
• "How do you measure success?"

How They Behave:

• They ask for detailed proposals before committing to anything.
• They want multiple options to compare
• They research you and your competitors thoroughly
• Decision-making takes time (sometimes painfully long)

·         They involve multiple stakeholders in the process 

 (I hate putting together proposals but know I must do it for head buyers. Heavens opened when I started using ChatGPT as my helper)

Real Example: David, a CFO, requested a 40-page proposal, three references, a risk assessment, and a pilot program before committing to a $15K consulting project. He spent six weeks evaluating options and built a comparison matrix with 17 different criteria. But once he decided? He became a client for life.

Ask These Questions:

• “What’s most important to you in making this decision?”
• “Making an impact.” → Heart.
• “Staying within budget.” → Head.
• “What would success look like 12 months from now?”
• “Happy clients who love our service.” → Heart.
• “12% increased profit margin.” → Head.
• “What’s the best buying experience you’ve had?”
• “They just got us.” → Heart.
• “They provided detailed comparisons and timelines.” → Head.

Your Guide to Selling to Each Brain

Selling to the Head Buyer

These folks are walking procurement checklists. Respect the process.

Bring the Data (Lots of It) Come armed with case studies, ROI calculations, benchmarks, and proof points. If you can't quantify it, don't mention it.

Create Clear Comparison Frameworks Help them evaluate options by providing structured ways to compare solutions. They love matrices, scorecards, and detailed proposals.

Address Every Possible Risk -  Head buyers are naturally cautious.

Proactively address potential concerns and provide mitigation strategies.

Be Patient with the Process Don't rush them. They need time to analyse, compare, and build consensus. Trying to speed them up often backfires.

Frank’s Real Example:
David, a CFO, made me jump through every hoop—proposal, pilot, risk assessments, references. Took six weeks. Became a lifetime client. Of course, he was an accountant and figures and facts were what he bought, tangible proof.

Selling to the Heart Buyer

Now we’re in my zone. These are the buyers who want to trust you, feel the vision, and see that you “get” them.

Lead with Stories, Not Stats Instead of rattling off features and benefits, tell them about other clients who were in similar situations. Paint the picture of transformation.

Wrong: "Our platform increases productivity by 23% on average."

Right: "I remember when the CEO at a financial services company in Malaysia told me, 'Frank, for the first time in years, my team actually looks forward to Monday mornings.' That's what happens when you get the right tools in place."

Build the Relationship First

Heart buyers buy from people they like and trust.

Spend time getting to know them, their challenges, and their vision.

Make It About Them (and Their Team)

Show them how this decision makes them look like a hero.

Heart buyers often worry about how decisions affect their relationships and reputation.

Move Fast When They're

Ready When a heart buyer says yes, get the paperwork signed quickly.

Don't let them overthink it—their gut is usually right.

The Million-Dollar Mistake Most Salespeople Make

They use the same approach for everyone.

They either go full data-dump on a heart buyer (who stops listening after the third statistic) or try to build rapport with a head buyer who just wants to see the numbers.

Here's the fix: Ask diagnostic questions early.

For Heart Buyers:

• "What's most important to you in a supplier?"
• "How do you typically make decisions like this?"
• "What's worked well for you in the past?"
•  

For Head Buyers:

• "What criteria will you use to evaluate options?"
• "What metrics matter most to your organization?"
• "Who else is involved in this decision?" 

When They're Both (like me)

Some buyers flip between heart and head depending on the situation. The secret? Start with logic, finish with emotion.

People make decisions on logic; they act on emotion.

Give them the rational reasons to buy (satisfying their head), then help them feel good about the decision (satisfying their heart).

Example Script: "Based on the analysis, this solution delivers a 200% ROI within 18 months [HEAD]. But honestly, the real win is that your team finally gets to focus on strategy instead of fighting fires every day.

 Imagine walking into the office knowing everything just works [HEART]."

What Happens When You Get It Wrong?

You lose the sale. Plain and simple.

• Pitch logic to a Heart Buyer. You’ll sound cold and robotic.
• Pitch emotion to a Head Buyer? You’ll sound fluffy and unprepared.
• Pitch both wrong? You’ll be ghosted harder than a bad Tinder date.

 

The Final Word: Sales is Emotional Intelligence in Action

Great selling isn’t about scripts. It’s about EQ.

It’s about reading the room. Listen between the lines. Knowing when to show the spreadsheet… and when to tell the story.

So, here’s your new mantra:

 “Speak to the brain they’re using.”

You’re not selling to robots. You’re not selling to daydreamers.

You’re selling to real, complex humans—who just want to make a decision that makes them feel smart and feel right.

And remember, this is not just in your face-to-face selling, its in your marketing, prospecting, preparation and approach.

 

Does your team need help building a sales strategy that actually converts?

Whether you're a CEO looking to scale your sales team or a consultant wanting to close bigger deals, I help leaders build systems that work.

Visit www.frankfurness.com to explore keynote speaking, sales training, and strategy sessions.

Otherwise email me at frank@frankfurness.com or call +44 7711 672888

Email me at frank@frankfurness.com

Let's turn your prospects into clients—no matter which brain they're using.

To get your free PDF copy of Heart to Head Selling, please email me at frank@frankfurness.com